Thursday, 1 December 2016
I have spoken at two of Voicing CSA (VCSA) meetings now. One in Todmorden West Yorkshire and the second in Telford Shropshire; my Todmorden presentation was entitled The Abuse of Power in all Abusive Relationships and my Telford one was The Effects After Grooming. Both presentations are hard hitting, informative and I set out to educate the audience.
I speak about abuse; I shout about it. I am not afraid of the perpetrator and I will never be silenced. To be silenced make me complicit because perpetrators hide behind secrets, silence, fear and threats. I will not play that game and never be silenced or fearful again. Anyone reading this must not be fearful. Narcissists are weak when they lose control over their victim; let’s ensure we make every narcissist and sociopath weak.
Narcissists rely on grooming their victim and all those around them; family, friends and extended family, I call this “The Charming Syndrome”. Most abusers are in places of power and abuse that power to groom their victim. By having a place of power makes it almost impossible for the community and society at large to believe that “they could ever do anything so sinister as to abuse a child or young person”. Open your eyes and look into the cracks and darkest of corners and you will see.
The VCSA meetings are extremely productive, well attended by survivors, deliver a wide range of knowledge from very eminent speakers and certainly raise awareness of child sexual abuse and the lifelong effects on the victims and survivors.
Survivors are given a safe space to share their journey (if they wish) and many do, their stories are heart-breaking. Survivors are also given a safe space to give advice on their own perspective of the disclosure and court process and procedures. This can be very helpful and informative to other survivors who may be going through the court process or are considering commencing a disclosure of their own abuse.
Professional attendees have been Sexual Assault & Rape Centres (SARC), Victim Support and Victim Support Sexual Assault Outreach Centre, the police, lawyers and social workers; many other professionals and a wide range of victims and survivors of abuse. We even motivate local radio and the press to attend; it is awesome the impact VCSA has, and is making throughout the UK.
There is always therapy and support in place for anyone who is triggered or needs a quiet space to think, consider and digest.
The speaker’s presentations can be viewed on Vimeo, Voicing CSA website, Facebook and Twitter.
Up-coming meetings can be viewed here: www.voicingcsa.co.uk
VCSA’s message is clear: To give survivors a safe space and to raise awareness of the depth of child sexual abuse, rape and sexual assault in all institutions and organisations where children have been cared for, and now attend, in order to make a safer future for all children of today and tomorrow.
VCSA intends to travel the UK holding meetings in as many UK cities and towns as possible to support victims and survivors and to raise awareness of the issues surrounding CSA as well as giving advice, knowledge and information to victims, survivors, agencies, professionals and the community.
Please share this blog post widely to help get the message out there. In the light of the Football scandal being unearthed we should all now be looking at every regulated institution and organisation where children attend and be asking them to consult their memories and files and declare any wrong doing from the past. Child abuse is, and must be, everyone’s business and we must all speak up and out if we are really serious about safeguarding children now and in the future.
The best gift you can give to any child, young person or adult this Christmas (or at any time of year) is TO BELIEVE THEM.
Believe and get the right support.
The breaking Football Scandal is only the tip of the ice burg, this is happening in every corner of the community and society. Remember abusers do not want to be caught or “outed” so gagging orders and payments to be silenced are the ultimate precipice or tactic that the abuser will use keep the silence, secret and fear. So now is the time to come forward and speak out about any suspected or known abuse, both now or in the past. Its time. The brave footballers who have spoken out have paved the way for all our voices to be heard and believed. So don't make this a wasted moment. Come forward to save a child, young person or adult's life.