Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Domestic Abuse by a Nigerian in Nigeria

Recently I was contacted and made aware of this ladies abuse by a post she placed on Facebook. Her story is as follows:

On the 4th of November this got an offer letter to commence as the Secretary to the Vice Chairman of The Flour Mills Nigeria Plc obtained through a Recruitment Agent. Due to the fact that the Vice Chairman (who she was employed to work for) was out of town she was asked to commence at The Flour Mills Nigeria Plc for a supposed induction. It was during this period that she met Ikechukwu an IT help desk employee. In order that employees without vehicles can commence work many employees car share. This gentleman lived a few streets from the lady in question and offered her a ride to work with several other colleagues.

From this time communications began and it started to become a relationship. At the beginning of December she was advised that the Vice Chairman had now returned and she was to join him and work at the Flour Mill offices in Ikoyi. She stayed in touch with Ikechukwu and saw him in the area. Towards the end of December she mentioned she had accommodation issues to Ikechukwu and wanted to find a place of her own but explained she was not financially able. She mentioned to him she was going to take a loan from Ren Money Micro-finance Bank, which she went ahead and processed. He was of the opinion that once she got the loan she should hand over the money to him so they could rent a place together. Quietly, she rejected this offer because she didn't want to become a sex slave to him, which was something he had requested from the beginning of the relationship. He also demanded for awkward sex moves, which she refused and declined. He called her all sorts of names, which she ignored. Ikechukwu went ahead and paid the agent to get the house where he had people he could use, that's why they kept asking me who the landlord of the house was. 

Eventually, she paid for the house with another agent at Ita Faaji, Ikotun and secured the house at Oja in Agodo, Ikotun. From the moment she secured the house she noticed he was not happy about it. She asked him once to come and see the house but he refused and commented that she should not have taken this particular house and that his father's had a house in Ikotun and she could have lived there. Again she refused this offer and he got a carpenter to fix the house while she was at work.

She moved into the house at Ikotun and it was peaceful the first week. He kept asking her about the house; she mentioned she was not used to living alone but she would get used to it. She noticed during conversations that he always knew when she got home, what she was wearing in the house and when she went out to buy something. She got so furious on one particular day that she had to peep outside to see if she could see him. She took all this as a joke initially, but after 2 weeks of staying in the house they started to have communication problems. Banging on her front door and ceiling started. She would wake up 2.00 and 3.00am shouting "who is there" and would hear footsteps run off. She complained to him and asked him what he felt she should do, he just laughed at her and made fun of her and when she said she was going to report the problems to the police, he sounded alarmed and quickly replied, "don't do anything to your neighbors, they are good people". She has to pause and pinched herself. How did he know they were good neighbors if he had not been to the house behind her back?

These incidences continued and each time she threatened him with the police nothing would happen for a week then when whoever would see no police activity the behaviour returned. This was happening all the time they were having communication difficulties and  at this time she noticed he had a particular sex worker that he hired for sex and her naked pictures were on his phone. There were times the sex worker would even call him while they were at a restaurant and he would snap at her lying that the phone call was from his cousin.

She talked to the agent who got the house and he gave all sorts of excuses. The issue became serious when the said landlord came around one day and and asked to discuss everything and she discovered it had all been a set up with everyone covering for each other. At the end of the discussions one of them told her not to worry and that it was someone that she know that was causing the problems and the person wants to get in the house and so they suggested she put light outside so she could see him when he passed by. At this time Ikechukwu was pressurising her to leave Ikotun and go to live with her younger brother. She advised him she would be staying in Ikotun even if it was far away,  but he kept pressurising and complaining that he hardly ever saw her. Unfortunately she obliged, to have peace from all the banging, but that was an error, because that gave him an avenue to have access to her and her home.

She moved to her brother's house and only went to Ikotun at the weekends; the moving didn't help the relationship as it became more difficult to communicate with him. She requested her documents be returned that were on his hard disk and asked for them to be copied to her PC. He refused insisting that he would copy them to her PC himself, but he never did. The arguments became heated and constant and since she couldn't put up with the stress any more, the  relationship was falling apart. She arranged to collect her data and he began to comment suggesting what the evil he can do to her. She was a little taken back and remembered he confessed once to her that he had joined a cult and had connection to do with "
jazz". She asked him about it but he advised he had left , which eventually she found out was a lie. He still had not returned her data and she couldn't access her CV, personal credentials, pictures and other personal items and he had begun using this personal information against her.

They kept trying to make the relationship work and then he came arrived at her house at and was to supposed to deliver some products she was taking to work. But before his visit the office dispatch rider had already asked her during a conversation if it was true that Ikechukwu was able to come to her house in her absence. She was shocked, but kept quiet and when he came to drop the product at her house he was behaving strangely and was scanning the ceiling and laughing. She asked him what he was looking for, he said nothing. When she saw him out she was surprised when one of her neighbours, a young guy, recognised him and was very shocked. She was very puzzled and gave him a curious look but he would not answer or speak to her.

During this period she got a call from Ren Money Micro-finance Bank telling her that they couldn't take a payment from her bank account. She was furious because they had deducted the first month with no problems. Later they sent a text asking her to pay into a GTB account and it was during this time Ikechukwu also opened a GTB account which she had queried and asked him why and for what? He just started stamping his feet on the floor and refused to give an answer. Then the worst occurred when she got a call from the "so called" Ren Money Micro-finance Bank from a man called Seun telling her that she should resign from work and they would waive her loan. She called the marketer that worked there and was told that the guys were wicked and she had better pay their money. She asked "which guys?" She was so sure 
Ikechukwu had a hand in it as he had previously been pressurising her to resign from work when she refused to request money from her boss.

She told Ikechukwu about the Ren Money Micro-finance Bank issue and he just laughed at her when she got angry and deleted his numbers from her phone. He still tried to insist they stay as friends but she said she was not willing to because he was passing her personal details around. In fact he had messed with her phone and before she knew it he was diverting her calls and even calling her contacts telling them all sorts of rubbish and sending them all the dirty photo shopped photographs he had with him just to hinder and stop anyone who might be interested in having any relationship with her. He was endeavouring to isolate her from male and female relationships and friendships and it didn't matter whether it was work, business or any positive yielding relationship.

She attempted to moved on with her life, but Ikechukwu never did; he continued to stalk her. He started hacking into her e-mails and social media accounts; even sending e-mails and starting conversations with her friends and contacts. She became scared to send e-mails for her boss since he kept hacking her e-mails accounts. He would even use the documents her boss asked her to send via my e-mail. She saw him twice at her house in Ikotun late at night, while she was taking a bath. He would walk past the window and on another day around 11.00pm she saw him walking around the compound. She yelled "what do you want", he simply walked fast and went into the neighbours apartment. Another day she came out early, around 4:30am, going to work and saw him in the next door neighbours living room. He actually stood up from the sofa he was sleeping and she was so shocked to see him, wondering what he was doing at Ikotun when he lives in Idi-Araba. Another day, a friend who she complained to about the incidence, came to visit and while she escorted her friend to her home, low and behold they met Ikechukwu coming into the premises, immediately when he saw us he almost turned to run but she thinks he felt she didn't recognise him because she didn't acknowledge him and he walked straight past them and entered the neighbours house right next door to her apartment. On another day she was returning from work and saw him running out of the premises, from the side of her apartment and she saw they had been inside her apartment, destroying her possessions and pouring sand and stone into her food. 

Ikechukwu, while they were dating refused to let her see his friend, or have any closeness to anything about him but one day she forcibly confronted him in his area of town and she caught sight of two of his friends, who just looked at him, gave him a knowing look of which he just returned. He went as far as taken her shoes, clothes and personal belongings to perform "jazz". He joined forces with the neighbours so that when she was working on her PC at home, she would hear him asking, "what is she doing?" Another day she returned from work and he drove past her in a red VW golf, stopped, looked at her and started laughing.

The ceiling climbing became more severe when the relationship ended, so much so that her ceiling was punctured. She went to the Police Station, who took a statement . Then all of a sudden he stood up and told her she should go home and that they couldn't arrest the person unless she came out to grab him in the middle of the night but she should not allow him to rape her because that's what he wants to do. She 
was absolutely perplexed. She was more surprised when she had to go to her church and eventually when the problem became too much to bear she went to her Pastor for some counseling and support and was shocked when the Pastor advised that she should understand that when a man is chasing you that he wants to marry you by force. He told her to go away and when she knew he would let her know when she needed deliverance. I got up feeling stupid and was like, "what, this is even going on in the church?"

She eventually managed to pay the loan back and resigned from work after he placed her pictures in every bus stop. He told everyone that he wanted to marry her but that her boss at work wanted to steal her from him and that she was just after money. Everyday when she goes to work she gets regular abuse, especially senseless females who think his behaviour is love. As if that is not enough, he took the pictures to every single area around where her home is and where she might go for an interview and when that was not enough, he started taking photos of her socialising in local hotels and insinuating that she was harlot. Later he would tell people she was insane. H
e then started photo shopping her picture with that of the sex worker he carries on with and proceeds to show people pictures of her having sex with him or holding his penis or even doing absurd things which are false. This is the man she told bluntly she was never going to have sex with him and then he said he would sort himself out. She wondered what he meant by that comment until she saw the naked pictures of the sex worker he has sex with on his phone. She so shocked the day she saw pictures on Facebook photo shopped like that of a harlot. No one knew of that picture or had it not even her, it had to be him. He steals her ideas and sells them, says he writes her social media articles and regularly uses her tweets.

She reported this case to a Lagos State NGO and was away in one of their homes for seven months, She came back this July and this man is back at stalking her again; running to places showing them pictures that are not her and telling all sorts of lies about her. In fact he set up women who regularly abuse her, calling her names at the house and at work. He has photo shopped naked pictures his sex worker with her face on them instead of the sex work. It is amusing that his parents are the leaders at Deeper Life Bible Church, Idi-Araba. She wants to believe they know what their son is doing, and wants to believe that some people at The Flour Mills are aware of this, yet they are not saying anything. He as been lying to individuals that he is married, which is a lie; he is not married and keeps a sex worker permanently in his parents house Idi-Araba Lagos. Recently she started working and suddenly someone from the Ren Money Micro-finance Bank Lawyers started calling her again using a series of Etisalat numbers. She informed a friend who knew the proceedings of Ren Money Micro-finance Bank and who told her they were scammers. He personally called her himself one a day and was yelling go and pay your money; he dropped the call when he knew I had identified his voice. Just recently someone used one of an old account to send e-mails to her new account and she is sure it is him. 

His motives for all the stalking:

1. To get her to have sex with him at all cost as he told her that's what he does to all females and is now it is her turn

2. To get and extort money from her by any and all means

3. To stop her from having another relationship

4. To stop her from achieving and fulfilling purpose

5. To live with her and use her financially

6. Keep her as a sex slave

This man is a criminal and should be exposed and stopped; this woman has been forced to go this far by contacting me, telling her story of domestic abuse and violence and asking for it to be placed on my blog. This vile man is doing this to many other women also and will continue to do so unless more women have the same courage to speak up and share their stories. D
ue to the vast corruption in Nigeria and the culture this woman has little chance of exposing him. The above story is classic abuse. An abuser walks into their victims life and turns it upside down by isolating and grooming family, friends and work colleagues. None of this is ok. He and others must be stopped. Please read and share this lady's story. This behaviour can happen to anyone of us. Abuse has no boundaries or social standing. Ikechukwu is a psychopath presenting with sociopathic and narcisstic behaviour. He has no conscience.

Published with permission from the lady in question.

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