Sunday, 24 July 2016

Abused all over again

Update: It has come to my attention, through reliable sources, that the Leader of the Pack and her Stooges also publicly abused, bullied and trolled an eminent lawyer, social worker and a high profile organisation during the same public rant, tantrum and beration of me as a professional and my good work. Those of us who quietly work to make the world a better place for victims and survivors of abuse do so voluntarily and without remuneration. Our services are given free to each charity we work for and we are freelance and have no formal ties or allegiance to any group/charity we offer our expertise to in order to raise awareness of these insidious crimes. 11.12.16

Yesterday, 23rd July 2016, I attended a small conference in my home-town as an inspirational speaker along with five other professionals from government, police and local council together with two survivors of historical child sexual abuse and exploitation, we all spoke during the conference.

As a professional and specialist in safeguarding, child protection and sexual exploitation I was asked to speak on The Abuse of Power in all Areas of Abuse and Exploitation. I carried this project out with the blessing of one of the local training companies I work with, in order to raise awareness of how coercion, control, gaslighting, grooming, exploitation and consent which dominate and appear in all areas of abuse and all contribute to an abuse of power.

I am a freelance self-employed education consultant and training facilitator working for numerous clients across the county, country and internationally and I have no superiority or allegiance to any one of the organisations over another that I carry out work for. I am not beholden to any organisation or individual over another and whoever I do work for, I always do it to the best of my ability and with the professionalism you would obviously expect. The work I do is always for causes close to my heart and delivered in good faith to raise awareness of abusive behaviours in relationships and help individuals and organisations understand the deep rooted insidious crimes committed by abusers, bullies, perpetrators and sexual predators in all areas of abuse, not just sexual abuse.

When I use my knowledge, experience and my own story of abuse to educate an audience, the room is always transfixed, interested and mesmerised. There was nothing different yesterday; my talk went very well and there was an audible hush in the auditorium as I spoke of my own abuse like I was talking about a stranger. The audience were right there with me and as always I had an excellent response and my message was definitely listened to and heard. I got my message across loud and clear, individuals understood the dramatic effect of abuse on lives well into the future.

I should not have to return home after a days work (helping survivors) to find a barrage of abuse and disgusting accusations and language on my Twitter timeline and social media. Survivors of abuse should not be abusing other survivors, especially ones that are doing good to raise awareness. The organisers of yesterday's conference have no connection to me on a personal level and I have no professional allegiance to this particular CIC or any other. This exercise was purely professional, as always. I do not work any other way. I should not have to justify who, where and what I do in my professional life as a freelance consultant to anyone, least of all a bunch of individuals who were supposed colleagues on my Twitter feed who, just because "they" have no respect for this particular organisation, feel I should  boycott the organisation. The answer is a big fat "no". I have been abused and bullied most of my life and no one will ever treat me this way again. So "no" I will not boycott anyone who is doing a good job supporting and assisting survivors of any form of abuse, be it sexual, physical, neglect, discrimination or domestic abuse or violence.

These disgusting individuals proceeded to abuse and bully other innocent speakers who they did not know or know their professional positions in the country and who did not deserve to have aggressive, rude and bullying Tweets rampage over his/her Twitter feeds. Remember, everyone is struggling with something.

Online bullies and abusers are cowards and vile. They hide behind an anonymous platform/icon which they feel protects them and gives them the right to slag off those they do not agree with. I have written about trolls and bullies before on this blog. But, you know what, the most insidious part of this abuse directed at me yesterday, is that these individuals were supposed colleagues and friends (one had been a Director of my own charity) who just didn't agree with me accepting an invitation to speak my stuff at this particular conference because they had fallen out with the organisers several months ago. Not my problem. I spoke to help the cause; I spoke to raise awareness in my local area. I spoke to work with the professionals, and as one of the professionals attending to get my message out there. I spoke out for the right reasons and I will do it again and again. I have always said that. I speak about abuse and will do till my last breath. I know what it feels like to be abused.

Just like abuse and abusers are in all corners of the globe, abusers and abuse don't discriminate, they cover every age, gender, colour, social standing - and these particular individuals should know better. I have done nothing wrong. I accepted an invitation just like the other professionals to speak out about these insidious crimes - CSA & CSE, domestic abuse and violence. I do not pick and chose who, where and when I speak. I do not discriminate, judge, make assumptions or stereotype. If it is right to speak out I will do so, I will be there with my voice, my own story, my knowledge, experience and expertise and my sad and difficult case studies. I have a lot to offer to help this cause and I will continue to speak about it. Will you?

I loathe bullies and abusers. I am a survivor of 20 years abuse and have been coerced, controlled, groomed, gas lit, punched, bullied and manipulated - but never again. You will never control or intimidate me ever again. I am my own person and I am confident and strong and will always do the right thing. I have decent morals and ethics and will not be drawn into vile behaviours. So you online bullies can stay exactly where you are blocked from all my social media platforms and go bother someone else. 

Each of you know who you are and you should hang your heads in shame - friends, no - colleagues, no - and never again. I am done with you and your controlling intimidating behaviours, I have put up with it for too long. It may work on others, but not on me. Survivor on survivor abuse is unacceptable, odious and repulsive. Practice what you preach and stop criticising others when they are doing good. You have done this for too long. Take the stone out of your own eye before you poke some else in the eye. 

I have betrayed no one and I am no traitor (your vile language). I am beholden to no one in this life. I am my own person with my own mind and I make my own decisions based on my own ethics and values.

Never blow out someone else's candle to make yours glow brighter.

I am an inspirational speaker, campaigner and ambassador to help end violence and abuse against women and girls (and boys/men).

If you would like me to speak at a workshop or conference please just ask or get in touch via twitter @ed2inspire or email

24.07.16 (updated 11.12.16 and 31.12.16)


  1. Dear Mrs Teacup
    You are clearly a strong professional woman. You have been on a journey and as you say these people will not intimidate you. I urge you not to give them more publicity or air space.
    Keep it rolling and keep doing your wonderful work.
    In friendship

  2. Thank you, Serena, for your lovely comment and taking the time to read my post. I certainly have no intention of giving them any more of my time and energy, but they needed to be outed as this has been going on far too long and not just to me. I will continue my mission and work in CSA, CSE and Domestic Abuse & Violence. Once again thank you ;0)