Sunday, 31 May 2015

Transference of Blame, Responsibility and Scapegoating within Abuse

Transference of blame, victim blaming or scapegoating are all insidious and extremely damaging to the victim in question whether it be a victim of non-recent sexual abuse, current abuse or any form of domestic abuse/violence. Any of these abuses will all have a perpetrator that is an expert in grooming their victim. The transference of blame and responsibility to a victim is a complex and necessary psychological component of the perpetrators clever, calculated and manipulative grooming process.

Victim blaming, scapegoating or whatever anyone wants to call it is a repugnant hostile, social psychological discrediting calculated routine by which the perpetrator moves blame and responsibility away from themselves and towards a target person or group. It is also a practice by which anger, emotions, hostility and accusations are projected onto another. The victim automatically feels wrongly blamed, criticised, persecuted, offended, ill-treated but through fear, anxiety, self-blame, low self-esteem and confidence, depression and a need to “keep the peace” the victim will not feel able to stand up for his or herself. The victim will be made to feel ungrateful, selfish and self-centered by their perpetrator due to grooming through false love, sex, gifts, money, food, drugs, cigarettes, outings, even a home; the victim will be psychologically messed up and confused, blame themselves and turn inwards and resort to many unhealthy coping mechanism to enable them to function and get through the day. Distortion of the truth is a well-known feature of the perpetrator to the victim.
Transference of responsibility, victim blaming and scapegoating is always psychologically complex and confusing. The perpetrators are so clever that they can distort the truth, appear charming to the wider world and community and will isolate their victim as quickly as possible from those closest to their victim in order to continue their abuse. Their process in achieving this will be calculated and coercive as they remain close to the victim’s friends and family while carefully and coercively isolating their victim in such a way that the victim often doesn’t even realise what is happening until much further down the line.

In transference of responsibility, victim blaming or scapegoating, feelings of guilt, aggression, blame and suffering are transferred away from the perpetrator so as to fulfill an unconscious drive to resolve or avoid such bad feelings. This is completed by the displacement of responsibility and blame to another who serves as the target for blame both for the perpetrator and his supporters. When we do not take responsibility for ourselves we are unconsciously choosing to react as a victim but victims that are systematically groomed over long periods of time are unable to recognise they are victims until much later on; some do not recognise this ever. To better understand this process research the Drama Triangle concept - persecutor, rescuer, victim - we get on and off this triangle regularly throughout our lives but understanding the theory is helpful, (Karpman, 1968).
The perpetrator's drive to displace and transfer responsibility away from him or herself may not always be experienced with full consciousness by the perpetrator; this is referred to as self-deception and is one of the main features of transference and the perpetrator. The victim’s knowledge that he or she is being blamed, victimized or scapegoated builds slowly and covertly over long periods of time and accompanies many everyday events. The perpetrators target experiences exclusion, ostracism and even expulsion from family, friends and situations and dangerously believes the perpetrators propaganda and takes on the responsibility and blame which can lead to a lifetime of damage, illnesses, tumors, depression, cPTSD even heart attack or stroke. The victim will believe that they are the cause of the problem, behaviour and will believe they must be a bad person and deserve the perpetrators victim blaming.

Where the process of victim blaming is said to be unconscious it is more likely to be denied by the perpetrator. In these cases, bad feelings, such as the perpetrator's own shame and guilt, will also be denied. Transference of responsibility frees the perpetrator from self-dissatisfaction and his or her conscience and provides narcissistic gratification to him/her. It enables the self-righteous discharge of aggression and negative behaviour. Perpetrators or scapegoaters tend to have extra-punitive characteristics; this is defined as inflicting punishment or authority on others with the intention of making the victim complain or whine thus getting the victim into trouble or be punished. It’s interesting to research Kraupl-Taylor, 1953 writings and work.
Transference or victim blaming is the perpetrator's classic defense mechanism against unacceptable behaviours and emotions such as aggression, selfishness, insecurities, hostility and guilt. To use selfish and insecure in one sentence is the epitome of victim blaming and the perpetrator is both of these to the point of near psychosis; narcisstic, sociopathic and psychopathic are all conditions linked to perpetrators of victim blaming and transference of responsibility within any form of abuse.  In a charismatic blending perpetrators come across as strong, self-assured, savvy and correct but what they do not want you or anyone else to know is that they are weak and not able to take knocks in life or the possibility of admitting to a mistake. They come with no conscience, empathy or compassion.

Melanie Klein states scapegoating is an example of projective identification, with the primitive intent of splitting: separating the good from the bad, (S. Scheidlinger, 1982). Another perspective: perpetrators or scapegoaters are insecure individuals driven by hierarchical motives to raise their own status by lowering the status of their victim, (C A Carter, 1996).
Mr. or Mrs. Charming will ensure you feel crap about yourself; will ensure you carry their guilt and shame; will ensure you have no thoughts of your own; will ensure you are scared for your life; will ensure you have no confidant; will ensure you give up your career; possibly have many babies so you can’t work; will ensure you only have pocket money; will ensure you perform sexual acts for them when they desire it; will criticise you lower your confidence and self-esteem and of course they will ensure you believe this is all your fault.

To assist healing and hope affirm daily you are worthy and full of love; know you are unique and create positive and optimistic thoughts; know others love you and you are respected and family and friends trust and believe in you; spoil yourself, get in touch with nature, be creative and gently and over time take responsibility for you and your life NOT your perpetrators. Remember you are strong and have greatness within.
References and Further Reading:

Agencies for Support:

A Game Free Life by Stephen Karpman
Without Conscience by Dr Robert D. Hare


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